MOTOROLA BRAVO LX • RENAL-99
464.550 MHz
STANDBY
19:00
INITIALIZING NEPH-PAGER...
[AWAITING FLOOR MADNESS]
CASE: 1 / 8
SILENT / AUDIO
DEPT OF NEPHROLOGY • ON-CALL PAGER SYSTEM
NIGHT CALL QUEUE
8 PENDING CASES
HOUSE RULE OF THE SHIFT
"Initial IV Lasix Dose = Patient's Age + BUN. If the attending winces, double it and add metolazone 30 minutes prior."
20:14
SERVICE: GEN MED FLOOR
MRN: #491-0029
•
CASE 1 OF 8
INCOMING CALL: EXT 3821 (PGY-1 On-Call Intern)
ENCRYPTED LINESELECT FELLOW RESPONSE (RANDOMIZED CHOICES):
Choose Wisely07:00 AM SIGN-OUT COMPLETE
You survived the night float gauntlet without dialyzing a single blood tube.
Fellow Rank
Master of Dark Tubules
Proximal tubular integrity defended.
Remaining Sanity
85%
Survived without physical altercation.
Cynicism Index
94%
Eligible for academic tenure.